I didn't go to the gym again today, I still have pretty bad pains. I thought they were from PMS but now I'm not so sure. Perfect timing too because the doctors are closed for like a week because of Easter. Oh well, they gym is close now until Wednesday anyways so it doesn't really matter in that sense. I'll probably just be going on long walks in the mornings.
I resisted the urge to buy chocolate today. I really felt like it and I was going to but I somehow convinced myself not too. Yes! And I went through KFC and didn't buy anything there either! I came home and had some 85% dark chocolate and an apple instead. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself actually and that's something that doesn't happen often.
So today I've been thinking about what I might like to study next year but the degree I'm thinking of doing would mean I would have to do and entry course which would start in about July and I'm worried my weight is holding me back from committing to that. That's actually the reason I didn't start uni this year. I got into the degree I applied for but I decided to defer for a number of reasons including my weight. I was supposed to use this extra time to focus on that but unfortunately I kind of fell off the bandwagon for a few months. I'm back on course now (obviously) but I can't help but think about how much smaller I would be now if I hadn't given up! I suppose on the other hand I could think about how much bigger I would probably be if I hadn't started at all. I guess that puts things in perspective. BLERG it's so frustrating and stupid and pointless and and and..
Ok I'm not going to stress about it. I have until June to really decide. Hopefully I have an epiphany by then!